Through sickness and in health...it's in our vows

When I married the love of my life nearly 3 years ago we agreed on in sickness and in health.  Everyone says says that and probably thinks that will be an easy one to follow, but I am finding it a battle.  Not that I ever think of leaving my husband, what I mean is it is one of the hardest vows to understand.  Does it mean I stand beside him and help him as he needs me but don't offer any helpful tips?  Does it mean I stand beside him and mother him and make sure he is doing what the doctor's suggest even when he doesn't want to?  Does it mean I stand beside him, support him, sympathize with every pain and uncomfortable time, watch him fall into a depression because he won't make an effort (through the pain) to just go out into public for more than doctor's appointments or church?  Does it mean I stand beside him and MAKE him do everything the doctor's suggest, take all his medicine as needed, make him eat more than toast, worry about the weight loss and force him to use the feeding tube option (which after Tuesday isn't an option anymore), MAKE him go outside and walk even two houses down?  Does it mean I stand beside him and let him do what he feels is comfortable and watch him wither away to nothing on the couch with nothing but the computer and TV as interaction?  There are so many ways to deal with the sickness and I am just not sure what to do anymore.  In all the options I mention standing beside him, because I know beside him is where I am to be, but my duties is where it gets fuzzy.  I think of how he would be with me, but then I think of maybe how I would handle this situation.  As a woman and as a mother, I tend to think that I wouldn't be withering on the couch.  Instead I would be pushing myself and the limits to do what I can with the kids and husband, even though I really feel like sulking on the couch.  My kids and my husband would be my source of life and act as a lifeline for me.  I think it would be hard to not be the active, involved parent and would find it a struggle not to push myself farther than I should.  I can't speak from experience because I haven't been in his shoes and I pray I never am, but I also pray that he is never in my shoes.  The role of a caregiver SUCKS.  You have to be supportive, a cheerleader, a comforter, an ear to listen, a hand to hold, a strong shoulder to lean on, a tongue biter (because not all your ideas and thoughts should be said out loud), a motivator, a translator, a nurse, a researcher, a watchful eye, an investigator and a wife and a mother.  You have to do all this even when you don't think you can.  When your legs are weak and your mind is tired, your body is tired and your heart aches.  My husband is living with cancer and cancer has kidnapped him.  Cancer can suck my big toe!!  I want my husband back and cancer can take a leap of the tallest bridge!